| it's strange-- thinking about being in a long formal dress and the center of attention. i'll look forward to the moment i'm at the end of the aisle and standing across from him. until then, it will be awkward and uncomfortable. i don't even like walking in late to church, and i purposely choose a side aisle in which to discreetly find a seat.
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| i used to write here all the time.
i do not, any longer.
i think i have let the dear thing hybernate for a good year or two.
and then the other day
i had a nervous breakdown.
because i'm growing up
getting an apartment
and getting married.
all in two short months.
[the growing up part
hasn't happened just yet.
in fact, i'm not even sure
if it will happen by the time i get married.]
and i realized i missed this life.
everything on this blog,
i splattered my messy paint
on anyone who chose to enter
and read.
i was so open, it scares me.
because i think i've forgotten
how to be beautiful.
like this -- this kind of beautiful.
the thing we call life took ahold of me
except, i beg to differ.
that is not life, this is.
all quiet, open, raw, honest
thoughts.
that quietly and openly
make themselves into strands of poetry.
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